we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
