anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
