I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You had me at "let me see your balls"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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