HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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