wanna go halves on a baby?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
