wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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