doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do vagina's smell?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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