Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
