what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We have started to decorate penises.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
