So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
