it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
