She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
