Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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