Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
this will be a night to untag.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
