Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
