Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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