this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
