in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
