he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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