turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
