i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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