Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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