Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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