I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have feelings that need drinking.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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