every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
