Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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