found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
