...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
pop tarts are not kleenex
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
