Me. At least after what I've been through.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My bed smells like the plague
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
