he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
