Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
