once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
