They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
