i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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