She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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