She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
