were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Randomize
