matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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