"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Green mimosas i think yes
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
