IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
