Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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