i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
