Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize