if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize