we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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