I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
