never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
