after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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