i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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