I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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