I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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