just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
