I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
