I'm so fucking centered right now
...so i touched it.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
