im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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