drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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