Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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