mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Randomize
