FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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