On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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