I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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