3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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