can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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