do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize