We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
