At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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