Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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