Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
